Life Is War

I am still not sure what to say about the shooting on Friday. It is shocking that a person can look at the faces of 20 children and shoot them. I don't care if he was mental, that's not an excuse to have no value for life, especially one of a small child.

And I am also in shock at the speeches Barack Obama made. I don't know if I should trust it or what to make of it and if he meant it, I don't know if I can trust that he is going to follow through.
Regardless of his good or bad intentions, what he said was true. We have to change. All of us. I cannot express this enough, people have been too lenient for far too long. Our society has gone insane, we embrace sin and indulge in the things we want. We get caught up in our own little worlds, unaware of the bigger story.

That argument you had with your coworker isn't going to matter in eternity. The outfit you wore to that gathering that didn't match? That won't matter either. The mess your kid spilled on the kitchen floor today, the fight you had with your parents yesterday, even the loved one that passed into Heaven last week--none of it matters in an eternal perspective. The man who shot all those people was angry over an argument he'd had the day before, and that's how he decided to deal with it. Sounds like ungratefulness and lack of reality to me.

If we don't change, this will continue. People get violent because they don't think the consequences are that large, and they think that only their feelings matter and no one else's. We all must stop looking at ourselves except to see what needs to change, and the rest of the time? For crying out loud, just love each other! There is no reason for any of this. There is a huge difference in simply disagreeing with someone and/or disliking them, and flat out hating them. That is what leads to these kinds of things happening. Stop hating the person, and start hating what they do! That is what will bring others to the truth, is when we show it to them in a loving way instead of treating them like they should know better, like they are the scum of the earth for not seeing it your way. If they aren't in ignorance, we must still be patient.

Life is not ever going to be easy, Jesus guaranteed that.

Life is war, and we are supposed to fight for our souls and for each others'. We are all called to serve God and each other, no matter what that may require. And when we are down and wounded, we can call on God to help us. Always. And if we refuse to trust God and see that...it's only downhill from here.

We just have to stop. That's all it requires. If we keep doing the same thing, we will keep getting the same result. Nothing changes until we do. Get over yourselves and your problems, we only have a short time on this earth and we have to make the best of it. Life is war, so get up and start fighting. And not each other, our war is with the unseen.

Goodnight everyone.

Lacey Sturm's Ransom Note

Better Days

I hear the popcorn popping. Dad whistling. My mom laughing. My favorite singer on The Voice (Cassadee Pope) singing on the television. I see the lights on our tree, Libby's pretty face, and I think, "Is this real?"

Dad has a new job, and he is like a changed man. You can tell the weight has come off his shoulders. I saw my best friends last night, and I love them to death. Kelsey is even getting into fashion, and she can totally rock the vintage look. My little sissy is growin' up!
And miss Kimberly..precious child. She makes me smile every single time I look at her.

Last year, I posted that all I wanted for Christmas was a chance to find better days. I can say honestly that this has been a very, very tough year. I can't believe we made it. Out of all the pain, the anger, the struggles, depression and even death of loved ones, God has still managed to bring me better days.

Yes, I know, we don't have long till the world "supposedly" ends. Which, by the way, is scheduled before my 16th birthday!! No fair!

Anyway, I thank God for better days. And here is a shoutout to the many people I know who are going through tough things in their lives-

Do not ever give up, my friend. If you are reading this, I know that you doubt you may ever make it, but I am telling you that if you stay patient and push through, you will. God will be there for you every single step of the way. He may not fix it, he is not a genie in a bottle. But he will work everything out for good to those who love him, even the ugliest things. Those things that are glaring in your face and you can't see past them. Addiction, fighting, cancer, strained relationships, financial troubles..whatever it is, let God take it. Just throw it. He is just simple, it is people that complicate it. He will give you truth no matter how hard it is to take and will love you through each and every thing.
I love you. Don't give up.


(Note: sorry this is secular, I couldn't find the Christian version. Lyrics are unchanged, I previewed the video.)

A Link For You!

Read this. So well said! I can relate for sure.

http://chelsgentry.blogspot.com/2012/11/dear-reader.html

Untangle

Yesterday I was putting up our Christmas tree and all the branches were tangled and matted from being in a box all year and, as a lot of you probably know, fixing all those branches to look realistic can be highly frustrating!!
While I was getting impatient, mom walked in the living room and I exclaimed, "You see this, mom? This is my life! Full of stupid, complicated branches for me to untangle!" her answer was something along the lines of, "Yup, mine too."
I know that I should be thankful this week, but as more things mount the less thankful I feel. I thought long and hard about this whole "thankfulness" deal.
What was it about anyway? What good did it do? Would it really hurt to tell God thank you even though I am not doing okay right now? I mean, since when did Jesus ever complain about his life? If he could do what he did for me, who am I to gripe about my problems?
But then I wondered...if he wants me to thank him...then he must have a reason. What was the reason? Did he just like hearing how great he is? Not that he isn't great, but I would have a hard time trusting someone with that attitude, whether they were aware of their amazing ability or not.
I came to the conclusion that he wants us to thank him because its simply the normal thing to do. What do you say when someone does you a favor or gives you a gift? You say thank you.
God has done a lot for us. Waaaay more than we deserve. So whether our branches are still tangled or if they are beginning to straighten out, we need to praise him in spite of our circumstances. Not because he wants to take from us, but because he knows it will increase our joy and get our focus off of our problems and back on him, where we can be content with what we have. And with him, we have a lot.
In the meanwhile, he will help us untangle the branches.
Happy (late) Thanksgiving everyone!

Build You Up

It's amazing, so amazing how I've survived this road...

Feel the fever, I can feel it down inside my soul...

And I will be the one to build you up, I'll build you up...

..Be the one to never doubt, I'll never doubt, oh...

Can you see how, can you see how far we've come, it's such a miracle...

Everything is, everything is clear, and...

..You are such and wonder and I..

Will be the one to build you up, I'll build you up..

Be the one to never doubt..I'll never doubt...

I'll be the one to hold your hand, I'll hold your hand...

Be the one to understand..

Yeah I'll understand...

Be the one to build you up, I'll build you up..

I'll be the one to never doubt..

I'll never doubt..
I'll never doubt..

Our God Is Greater

Okay so, just so everyone knows, I absolutely love my Jesus. He is more amazing than I can even describe. Lately, I have found myself falling more in love with him and wanting to talk about him constantly. I'm sure some of my friends are wondering what the deal is with me. Haha!

This has honestly been a really, really tough year. I have had a lot of low points, and right now my dad just said that the shower has no warm water.

Yikes..I hate plumbing problems.

But our God is greater than all of our "issues". He can handle anything, and we can cling to him when we need it most.

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?

Haiti

Hey everyone! I have an update!

Its big news.

You ready for this?














...Are you sure?



Okay I'll quit messing around...












...


I'm going on a mission trip to Haiti in April!

It hasn't quite sank in yet, but I'm excited all the same. I'll be going with people who've already been, so it's a little less nerve-wracking..but I would appreciate prayers in the preparation and fundraising. Thanks all!

The Anthem

Last time I posted I talked about me finding out who I am.

Everything I am is in Jesus Christ. I hope to keep growing until I act like Him. I want to obey his bidding and change the world like He did. He both lived and died for me, and I am willing to do the same for Him.

I belong to Jesus.
I am royalty.
I have destiny.
I have been set free!

I'm gonna shape history!!

Much has changed since my last post. Nothing is settled with Victoria, but we are doingthe best we can.

Change...do you love it, or steer away from it? For me, it's a little bit of both. Change hurts sometimes, especially when you lose people who were close to you.
But from a different angle, who wants to do the same old things all the time and nothing exciting ever happen? Not me!

Sometimes people have to move on. I have recently let go of some relationships, and I have so much more room in my life. I love it!

All this cooler weather has got me in a good mood too. How about you guys?

And finally, I'm starting to let go. Of things in my past, worries I have about the future, of everything that's doing more harm than good.

I'm finding out who I am.


TO BE CONTINUED

Follow-Up

Hey guys, thought I'd give you an update on my last post. If you don't know Victoria's story, you can read it here:

http://fixdhs.com/


Tonight, Tracey and Cindy and Taylor all came over to help get plans done for the memorial service and prepare the obituary. In a way, it was pretty comforting to have everyone around to go through Randy's things and share memories. Taylor and I cooked up some macaroni and tomatoes at nearly midnight. Macaroni and tomatoes is her specialty, and it for a few minutes it was just like old times, us sharing conversation over a bowl of noodles and a can of Coke.

We have found prayers in notebooks, pictures and videos on his phone, files, and precious keepsakes. We even found an old, blown-up cardboard photo of his Indian heritage.

His memorial service will be held on Thursday, 10:30 AM at Kingsview Church. Our church, The Bible Study Center, is providing meals for after the service. Thanks you guys!

We appreciate all your prayers. Love to you.

Gabby

Jeff Randell Anderson

Randy Anderson passed away tonight at 9:07 PM. Me, my mom, Cindy, Tracey, Steve, and his best friend John were all able to be there for him. We know he is with Jesus.

We read out of his Bible, prayed over him when he moaned in pain, and sang him Victoria's favorite song, "Jesus Loves Me".

Randy was a wonderful man; he touched so many lives. The nurses who've only known him a short time were crying, and told us they are confident that he is with the Lord. We all personally witnessed him praising God, saying, "It's beautiful" and "Hallelujah" "Take me home, Jesus". He has blessed us so much with his life and testimony.

Please continue to pray for Victoria, as there is still much to be sorted out.

Thanks you all so much for your prayers.

Gabby

Remember To Live

Okay, so you all know that Flyleaf is my all-time favorite band. Has been since I was 12. By the way, they are coming out with a new album this year!! I'm so pumped!

But anyway, their latest album "Remember To Live" has a really amazing story on the paper inside that I think would help a lot of people right now. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our problems that we forget the big picture. We forget that life is not about how many things we have, or whether we look good or feel good. Not that we should ignore our pain, that's not what I'm saying. My point is that we can't live off our emotions. We have to remember to live, we have to do our best to love and help other people, and give it to God when we can't. And sometimes that's really, really hard. But as Wesley would say on The Princess Bride: "Life IS pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."

God never said it would be easy. But he did promise to help us through it.

Okay, I'll shutup and let the story speak for itself. Here it is:

04-12-12

My daddy died in the war. At the funeral I couldn't take my eyes off of the beautiful script tattooed on his hands. 'Memento' on his left, 'Mori' on his right. That was the first time I understood the words he had always spoken to me whenever he felt like I was being reckless with my time...or when I pitched a fit of anger over something petty...or when I went around discontented and depressed because of circumstances, over which I had no control...

"Memento Mori, my favorite one," He'd say, "We must remember that each day of each life is a gift. We must not waste the opportunities we have to be alive and to truly love."

I had wasted so many moments with my daddy because of my selfishness. I would wallow in my own problems and make them the center of my life. All the while, my daddy was fighting to show the world that if we would be selfless and love, then we could actually make the world a better place.

I heard him tell young soldiers who were deeply depressed, "You must take your eyes off of yourself, and put them on others." There was such a gentle love in his voice when he said this, never discounting the suffering in the heart of the soldiers while encouraging their care for one another. He is the only one I knew who could speak with such bold truth and compassionate love at the same time.

The day after his funeral, I embroidered a patch on my coat that I committed to wear every day with the reminder that because I will die, I must remember to live, to be alive, and to do what I can while I'm still breathing and always choose to love with joy and grace. Also, when someone I love wants to live like they are already dead, the patch reminds me of my love for them and that I should not forget to pray for them to remember to live.

I embroidered the words 'Memento Vivere' in the same beautiful script that once had read 'Memento Mori' across my daddy's hands. I know I will die, so I must remember to live.

Colorado Shooting

Just a reminder to everyone: please remember those who were wounded and killed in the midnight premier of "The Dark Knight Rises".

You know, I'm really tempted to hate the people who do these things. I get so sick of seeing the flags at half-mass.

But really, it's Satan to blame. And our own sin.

Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim
No matter what you say
It don't take away the pain

That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why?
It's the blind leading the blind

I guess that's the way the story goes
Will it ever make sense??
Somebody's got to know

There's got to be more to life than this

There's got to be more to everything I thought exists!!

This Thing We Call "Life"

It sure is frustrating, isn't it? It's always changing, there is no way to predict what it will do to you. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's just sick.

Yup, I know what I'm talking about, so shutup and listen to me.

I'm fed-up. There are so many people out there, ignoring the fact that their life is on the line. Maybe not physically, but spiritually. The hours of their lives are ticking away with each second, and they still haven't made a decision on where the stand with God. If you ask me, I think it's bull crap. Sorry for being blunt, but if you are an unsaved person given an opportunity to follow God, or you are saved but you have unsettled relationships, you're gonna wish you hadn't waited if you die in a car accident tonight.

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of sitting around. I'm ready NOW, I'm not waiting for the afterlife.

Deteriorate

"Our careless feet leaving trails, never minding the fragile dirt we all end in..."

Well, for a long time now, Skyscraper by Demi Lovato has been my favorite song. But this one has bumped Skyscraper to my second favorite..this is a ballad for anybody who is exhausted and has come to the end of themselves. A ballad for all the people who are on the edge of a change inside of them, all the people who have a past, and are learning from it.
Does that describe you?

To Someone I Care About..

This is to one of the best friends I've ever had. I love you:)

Just A Little Bit of Heaven...

Today has been one of those days where everything--and I mean everything--is going wrong and getting in my way. This morning, I couldn't find the sandpaper in the shed. I ran out of coffee grounds. The kids were arguing, fussing, and hitting. And Olivia threw up.

So yeah, I'm a little frustrated. And don't you start laughing!

But these are the kind of days where I need God most. Last night, I went out in the backyard to clean up from a water balloon fight I'd had with some friends and my sister that afternoon. I was listening to my iPod while doing this. After throwing the last of the colorful pieces in the trash can, one of my favorite songs came on. It goes like this, you may have heard it on the radio:

And all at once, heads are spinning faster like a hurricane. 'Cause all we did was nothing but a Love still came, & it's bringing in good news, that love is coming back for you.

Keep in mind that I have no idea what got into me. Maybe it's because I've always had trouble with the "love" part of God. Or perhaps it was because I walked down to the front of the church for the first time the other day when my friends and I went to hear Ken Freeman. Or maybe I'd just had a good day.
Whatever it was, I just started running across the yard, jumped in the air, spun around...I was so HAPPY! I've never had a moment like that...ever. I was just overjoyed that Jesus really does love me. And why in the world would he choose me anyway?? It just fascinates me that he doesn't care how bad I've screwed up. It never gets old for me. Which probably explains why I never shutup about it.

After my little, uh...outburst, or whatever you want to call it, I got on the swing for a while. It was about 9:00 pm. It had finally cooled down outside, the mosquitoes weren't biting, the katydids were singing, there was a little breeze...and that song, oh my gosh, it was STUCK IN MY HEAD! No more horrible sentences running through my mind, no more beating the crap out of myself, no more worrying if so-and-so was okay, or if such-and-such needed to be done...it was just me and God. Just a little bit of heaven, right there in my little backyard in Oklahoma.
And I'm so thankful for it, because I needed a little bit of heaven.

Love is coming back for all of us who have a hard time getting it through our brains that all we did was nothing but a Love still came, and it's bringing in good news, that love is coming back like a hurricane...

And the years go by...

Where does time go? It feels like 7 years ago was just yesterday...
I remember the Summer the Montgomery family lived with us. Us kids would play outside all day long, making mudpies, playing "wolves", "maids", and once we even got big building blocks and tried to build a wall that would cut the yard in half. We never finished, but I thought it was pretty impressive. Then at night, we'd all go to our room while the adults played cards, and we'd play with our Barbies for HOURS. Or we'd play computer games, American Idol, or make up our own. One game we made up we took turns jumping off of the bed and banging ourselves against the closet door. I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall that night! It's amazing what four cups of coffee and being allowed to stay up past midnight will do to a kid.
I remember when I'd go to the back of the yard where there was a concrete slab, and throw bricks down on it just because I liked watching them shatter. And all the plays and dances we made up....I directed them all of course. Then after showing the parents, we were all so proud of ourselves...
I remember the many times we fought, though. It was amazing, the things we actually got all worked up over...what was even more amazing was how quickly we got over it and apologized.
I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. I seriously wonder if I'm going to come out of these years in one piece...sometimes it's all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. How am I going to meet all my goals for my life doing THAT?
But then I remember how far I've come. Gosh, I can't believe I've made it this far. I'm going to be 16 this year! Can you believe it??
Looking back on the years is difficult for me sometimes. There's some really tough stuff back there. There are things I wish never happened; decisions I've come to regret. But there are also great memories that still make me laugh when I think of them. We were all so ornery, I'm surprised we got away with what we did!
Looking back reminds me that even when things look hopeless, there is still an answer. It reminds me to be thankful for what I have been given, to be proud if what I have achieved, and to work on what I haven't. It reminds me that I need to make the most of the time I have, because I don't know if it's short or long.
And it reminds me to sit back and enjoy life when I get the opportunity, because time is something I will never get back.
Man...where does the time go?

And the years go by like stones under rushing water. We only know, we only know when it's gone...
--Need To Breathe

Lessons Learned From Monopoly

I had a fantastic weekend! On Friday, my family and I went over to my cousins house and stayed the night. We rode the four wheeler like maniacs, jumped on the trampoline, had a mud fight, almost killed the dog, found about a million tarantulas (they were orange and black. SO COOL!), and stayed up until 1:00 am playing Monopoly.
I was doing pretty good for a while. I bought Boardwalk pretty much right off the bat, and later sold it for $500 with no future charges on any of the blue districts, AND Water Works. After that, I collected all of the pink districts, and two of the green. I had about $2,000 at this point.
Then out of no where, my cousin Sarah started catching up. In no time, she had all of my sisters money and property, which put her out of the game. Then she took out Brianna.
Then she started working on me.
I fought so hard. I tried so hard to keep my money and my property, but in the end I had to mortgage and she took EVERYTHING. I came back later and she'd trampled everyone else, too. She won the game.

None of us were real happy with her.
But that's okay. We forgave her, since we're such nice people and everything. ;)

Before going to bed that night (which was around 2 I might add), I read a devotional in a book I have by Sarah Young. It was talking about how health and wealth can disappear just like that (picture me snapping my fingers), but it's what's eternal that really matters.
I thought it was kind of ironic that I'd open up the book and find that right after going bankrupt playing Monopoly.

It may seem like how much money you have, how many things you own, or whether or not you have two cars are top priority. But really, God is top priority, and that's the way it should be.


Here's some footage of the interesting things that happen at the Cowan's. Enjoy!


Kelsey tried to throw mud at my face...and it landed at the top of an 8 foot roof. Nice throw, Queso!


Olivia my dear, I know you like shoes & all...but aren't those a little too big?


I'll post videos tomorrow.

Manana amigos!

Swept Away

"Spread out your open hands, and he will raise you up."

Sometimes people, including myself, present themselves as a different person than they are on the inside. I confess to being fake both with other people and with my God. Have you ever been broken on the inside, but walked into church on Sunday morning or youth group Wednesday night acting as if you had it all together? That's a subtle way people pretend, but it can get out of hand very quickly until you practically have two or more identities. You play "chameleon", changing your appearance & act depending on who you're with.
But the thing is, God sees everything in you, and knows every single thing about you--everything you've done, thought, or ever will do or think.
Now, as scary as that might sound, there's more to it than that. Yeah, he sees everything you do. He knows when you've messed up. He saw it with his own eyes.

But...

He does not condemn.

Instead of seeing you through eyes of law, he looks at you through eyes of grace. What that means is, he doesn't look at you in your sin (no matter what your sin is) and say, "Dang, she's screwed up. Ok, moving on to someone actually worth my time."
No, he looks at you and says, "Yes, she (or he) has made some mistakes. She's not perfect. But I want to forgive her for what she's done because I love her anyway."
And not only that, but he will make you something great. He will do things through you that you would never be able to do on your own. That's not to say he'll force it. But if you let him take the initiative, you'll be amazed at the change in yourself. You will be able to handle life SO much better. Trust me, if it weren't for him, I would not be here.
Until then, think about the lyrics to this song. Being yourself with people makes things less complicated, and even better--being yourself with God will free you & heal you from the inside out.

"Spread out your open hands, and he will raise you up."

*Note--this song has screaming.

Which Side Are You On?

Our neighbors behind us have a really big yard, half an acre maybe. So, to keep up with their lawn, they got some goats. Yes, goats (a very random thing to find in the city, by the way).
A couple of days ago, I glanced out my kitchen window to see a goat sitting by the fence that divides our backyards...
But I couldn't tell which side of the fence he was on.
"Uh, mom?" I said kind of nervously. She came over to the window. "Please tell me that goat isn't in our yard."
"Oh! Hmm...well, he's probably in his yard, but yeah, it is hard to tell." She replied.
Then I got an idea..an analogy that I'm going to present to you in this blog post.
When I looked back, he was gone.

Just long enough to give me this idea!

Sometimes that's what it's like with Christians. They sit so close to the fence (the world) that you can't tell for sure what side they are on. They talk like a non-christian, dress like a non-christian, act like a non-christian...and I'm not trying to be judgmental, I'm not looking down on them for being lukewarm (although that is definitely not okay). I'm ashamed that they present God & the church that way to unsaved people. People get their opinion of God by what they see in us, and if we as Christians walk around either condemning them for their choices or cussing and drinking, then they aren't going to have a very good view of God. You know what I'm saying?
And another point: if you say you're a God follower, but you are following the world, then what side ARE you on? Who are you really following? You can't walk down 2 paths at the same time, it's impossible.
What upsets me the most is how much they are missing by sitting so close to the fence. Don't they know that Christianity isn't just some religion? Why would they be so careless about the fact that God created everything, is everything, keeps their lungs breathing and their hearta beating, and loves them literally TO DEATH? It should break a heart to know that so many people are choosing to keep Jesus at arms length.
I've been there. I didn't want to accept Him..but it's the best thing I ever did.

Thanks for reading, don't sit close to the fence..
;)

Confessions of A Crazy Nut

As most you know, I am a crazy nut. I mean come on, have you met my family? I can't help it!

Everyone has confessions to make, whether they are crazy people or not.
Here are my confessions...

* I'm addicted to coffee--if it weren't for caffeine, I would probably drop dead right here & now, on this keyboard.
* Every once in a while, when I'm home alone, & I'm sure no one is watching, the little girl in me comes out & I skip around the house--just because. :P
* I get along with my mom. Yeah, you heard me right, this 15 year old actually likes her parents. Whoaaa now I'm really crazy.
* If my phone dies, the world as I know it comes to an end...
* I write songs:)
* I'm way too controlling sometimes..
* If I could speak only Spanish for the rest of my life, I totally would.
* So far this year, I've been to the ER for 3 people.
* They all turned out ok:)
* My Jesus is amazing.
* He must have some good running shoes if he's kept up with me this far;)
* I've been hurt..
* By my own self.
* I've hurt other people.
* And I've screwed up.

* But...

* My Jesus loves me.
* And I know that's totally cliche, but pretend its not. Because when you think about the fact that Jesus came & died for all of us, in spite of how much we hated him, suddenly that becomes a big statement.
* For pretty much all of last month, I was angry at God.
* We had 2 deaths in the family, I saw a little girl's life be turned upside down, and my grandmother has fallen into depression..
* I'm tempted to go down with her.
* But God is pulling me up. He wants me to sing, dance, & learn to smile again, in spite of what's going on.
* He saw me when I fell, he saw my anger, he saw my regret, my confusion, my..crazy nuttiness.
* And instead of saying, "Wow, she's a real mess. Who's next?" He listened to me. He dealt with me. He let me be the crazy nut I am, then he talked.
And...
He proved me wrong.
Another confession: I hate being wrong.
But this time, I was glad I was wrong. Because I thought I was done, that he'd given up on me as well as everyone else. I thought I had no choice but to go back and be the same person I was. But he told me that all of that wasn't true. He still cares about me, he is taking care of me. I don't have to watch my back, I can trust he's got this one.

And I love that:)
What are your confessions?

Mixed Up

This quote says it all..

Dear My Closest Friend

Well, I took quite a long break, but I think I'm back in action now. There's not a whole lot to say, really..but I did get closer to God. He's really been showing me a lot of new stuff, like the fact that I'm not as strong as I sometimes think I am. I can't handle everything on my own, and that's why I need Him. I'm so thankful He never gives up on me, no matter how much grief I give Him. He knew He was setting Himself up to be hurt by loving me, but He did it anyway.
This song was my prayer to Him last night..He's my closest friend, and His hand is always mine.



(no, this is not an April Fools' joke.)

Blogging Block

So, every writers worst fear is called 'writers block', where you are on a roll with tons of fresh ideas, and one day you sit down at your computer to work on another chapter in your book, and you realize you are stuck. Just..stuck. You have nothing to write. Absolutely nothing..

I know, it's a very bleak experience.

Well, I have some serious block going on, but not with my writing..it's my blogging! I haven't taken any exciting pictures in the last week, I've had nothing but depressing things happen, and other than that, there is nothing to write about..I'm stuck!!

If you would all be so kind, I'm going to take a little vacation..from my blog. I don't know how long, but I'm just going to consider this my coffee break to recharge and get my wheels turning again. They're stuck in some major mud right now..

While I'm at it, I could use a break from life, too. I don't know how long I'm going to keep things quiet, or if it's even possible to silence everything, but I really need to slow down and find God again..I've missed Him a lot lately..

And besides, He's my real coffee break;)

Sorrow

You know, sometimes people look at sadness as a bad thing..but sometimes it's just the opposite. Sometimes it's a blessing from God..sometimes it creates songs like this!

Emotional..

Emotions are a strange thing..especially when you're a girl. Being a girl in general can be strange. One minute, you're perfectly happy, almost done cleaning the kitchen, and just as you finish mopping the dining room and smile with satisfaction at the perfectly shining, sparkling, beautiful floor, three children come barreling into the room and step all over your precious mopping job--not only that, but this is the third time you've remopped the floor after it getting trampled on.

Yes, I have had this scenario MANY times.

And men wonder why we burst out with crazy emotions..torrents of rage, bursting into tears, deadpan stare, the cold shoulder, and the silent treatment to name a few. Then we throw in the baby blues, toddler tantrums, and busy lifestyles, and bam! There goes a woman's brain. Gone. Removed from the equation. Bye-bye.

Although I wouldn't really want to be a boy, either. I enjoy being a girl, though I never was radical about pink and frills and stuff..I guess it's all about balance. I don't have to roll in the mud, but it's not the end of the world if I own a pink shirt, either.

Which reminds me, I don't have a pink shirt! Wait, yes I do..it has a ninja on it wearing a bow. >:) Yeah! Girl power!

This rant makes me think about my dad..poor man, he's just surrounded by girls. Between his wife and four daughters, he's in drama/hormone city.

Good luck, dad! By the way..you should probably get yourself a dog or something..it might help save your sanity;)

Read This!

Wow, this came up in my stream on Google+ today (G+ shows what's most popular or what's "hot" everyday). It's a conversation about whether or not God exists. If you don't know much about the argument against Christians, this will definitely show you. If you go down far enough, I left a few of my own comments. Check this out!

Note: if you need to make the page font bigger, press Ctrl and + at the same time on your keyboard.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/101629211371073711149/posts/BiHm36RVWdG

Splinters..

On Friday, Cindy and I stopped at a garage sale on the way to work. Cindy bought a wooden sign to put in her front yard, and as I was putting it in the truck for her, I got a splinter in my 3rd finger. The sucker was like an inch long!

So you're probably thinking, "Why the heck is she suddenly talking about splinters?" Bear with me people, I'm about to make a point..or an analogy, if you will. ;)

2 days later, I was in the shower when I grabbed the shampoo bottle, and with a shoot of pain in my finger I realized that splinter was still there and I'd forgotten about it! I got it out of course, but it hurt worse because I'd waited so long.
Sometimes that's what people do in life. We get used to living with pain, and so we let it slip to the side and forget about it. Then later, something reminds us of that wound and it hurts even worse.
Don't push problems that you can fix to the side! Pray and ask God about whatever it is..whether it's as little as a splinter or as big as a broken life. Don't leave the mess, it'll just get bigger. Jesus will get you through anything.

Oh, and I'm just going to add this last picture for your enjoyment--though it has nothing to do with the post:

YAY-YUH! I finally got my coffee stuff!! *does Candace Flynn's evil laugh*

Note: Candace Flynn is the big sis of the famous Disney Brothers Phineas and Ferb. You can find her either drooling over Jeremy, talking to Stacey, or busting her brothers.

Update On Randy

Randy Anderson is home now, he's going to OU for an appointment Monday or Tuesday, and I assume that is when they will set the date for his surgery. Me and possibly my aunt are going to go and see him before he goes under..since he has adopted his daughter, and he doesn't have much family, if anything happens to him she could go back into DHS. He doesn't want to admit where he's at, but I'm going to talk to him and try to convince him to get his attorney and write a legal document, saying what he wants done with Victoria if something happens to him. Please pray he'll listen and make the right decision.

I appreciate everyone's prayers!

Randy Anderson

Hey guys, prayer request!

I have been babysitting a little girl named Victoria (she's 2) for a few months. Her dad, Randy Anderson, has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks now..he started looking really yellow in the face, and had been sick a lot. So when he went to the doctor, they said he either had a tumor on his kidney or a liver problem. They resolved yesterday that it is definitely a cancer in his liver. He's a single dad, and he's having a really hard time with this. He's getting transferred up to OU Medical Center in the next few days for surgery. Please pray that the surgery will go well and that Victoria will be at peace. She's been staying with another babysitter for a few weeks now. Thanks everyone.

Libby

Look at that face. Look at that face!! This child is about as ornery as a two year old can be.
Oh Olivia, what are we going to do with you, child?

Home

Won't it be so great when we finally get there? No more fights, no more crying, no more pain..it will all finally be over and we'll see the face of our Jesus. I'm so excited!! I'll get to see Papa Charlie, Morgan, Grandma Nellie, Aunt Leita..
I just can't wait to go Home.

A "Sometimes" Moment

Sometimes even Christian people have bad days. Sometimes it's hard to keep focusing on other people instead of yourself. Sometimes I get ticked off because I get a C on test! A C, Gabby? Really?? gggrrrr
Sometimes I want to pull my hair out. Sometimes I'm just so mad I want to scream. Sometimes I get fed up. Sometimes I mess up when I'm trying so hard to get it right. Sometimes I just want to kick myself!
Every once in a while, I feel my old self creeping up on me. Sometimes the anger is all-consuming, and I feel out of control. Sometimes I just can't get away. Sometimes my mind spins like crazy until I get dizzy. Sometimes I just wanna flip my lid. Sometimes I forget everything I've ever learned. Sometimes I just want to take out my anger on anything and everything!

Sometimes I don't want to see another schoolbook until I'm dead!!

This has been a "sometimes moment" from Gabby McGee. In case I have scared you, don't worry. I'm just venting. This is not a regular thing for me to do. In a few minutes, I'll be back to my "always" state of mind--I will remember my Jesus who loves me even when I'm out of control. I will get back to singing soon. But for now, I'm really ticked off, so bear with me.

Now to find a pillow to scream my head off into..

This Means War!

You know, it's really amazing the guts Satan has to do the things he does to God's people. As if fighting against ourselves isn't enough, he decides to take our already majorly confused minds and make us do insane, unspeakable things. We buy into all of the lies he tells us, which takes us down a road of self-destruct. We lie, we cheat, and we steal. We hate ourselves, we hate the people who have wronged us, and sometimes even the God who created us. Our minds and hearts get so messed up that we get depressed, we murder, we cut ourselves, commit suicide, get hooked on drugs/alcohol, etc. Sin is the reason we are like this, but Satan isn't helping us any. He prowls like a lion, looking for someone to devour. Don't kid yourself, the devil hates us. He feeds our anger, our hurt, our helplessness..he's done it to me, he's done it to you, and to all of us.
And you know what?? I'm sick of it! That arrogant idiot is crazy to do something like this against the God who has the power to blow him and his demons away at the snap of his fingers. He knows he'll never win, but he's going to mess up God's creation anyway. He's going to see how many souls he can take with him. It's like taking a painting that an artist has worked on for months--or even years--and throwing it into the flames.
Well, geuss what? Now it's his lies that are going to burn down! I'm throwing everything stupid little fib he's told me into the fire. I'm with Jesus now, and he does not own me any more! Who's with me?

Disciple, Watch It Burn:
Infiltrated crawling on the inside
Crooked hands put us all in their chains
Wrapping nooses all around the halos
Another chemical making my blood insane

We’re so sick of feeling helpless
We’ve been running this wheel to death
We’re not a mark upon your checklist
You’re gonna feel it kicking in your chest

We’ve waited far too long
Incinerate this!

To all the anarchy inside we can’t escape
Set it off let it all burn down
To all the hell inside that’s been controlling me
Set it off, set it off, watch it all burn down

This means war, Satan. You messed with the wrong people.

God Is Funny--I Have Proof!

Okay, so I believe that God has a sense of humor--here's proof!

On Saturday night, Taylor had a sleepover. All of us girls were talking and joking around, telling each other what animal we resembled. I got "pelican" and "owl". As funny as that is, it's nothing compared to what God did!
I was in a really bad mood today. I was mad, I was upset, and..well..just in a bad mood. I decided to read my Bible for a bit, and geuss what I found in Psalms?? Take a look at this, this is hilarious!!

Psalm 102:6 (NASB)--
I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert.

I reread it twice to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, and then I couldn't stop laughing! I laughed so hard that afterwards, I completely forgot whatever it was that had made me upset.

So "in your face" to everybody who thinks God has no humor! There is proof ^^^ RIGHT THERE!

Man, I love my Jesus!

WINTER JAM 2012!

Okay, let's start at the very beginning..forgive me, this may be the longest post in all of my blogs history. But stay with me, ok? It's worth it, trust me!

Last night was the Winter Jam. It was sooooo much fun, and a rather unexpected night at that. Lemme take you back to where it all began..

Saturday, Taylor invited me, Lana, Haidyn, Jessica, Cynthia, and Emily to Winter Jam for her birthday. We all met at my house, loaded up in two cars, and went to Sonic downtown. The line was FREAKISHLY long, and we stood there forever, talking and making jokes. There was a huge sign on the wall (about 7 feet at least, probably more) that had a Cranberry limeade drink on it, and under it read, "NOT ACTUAL SIZE."

Can somebody say, "Duh"? Of course that's not the actual size! Come on, really?

Well, I came up with a really good idea. I told everyone what I was planning, and when I got up to order, here's what I said to the dude behind the register..

"Yeah, I wanna get a Cranilla Craze, the size of that one over there on the wall." I pointed to the picture with a very straight face (still not sure how I did that). He laughed at me like, "Uh-huh, fat chance!"

After ordering, we all stood in line for nearly 2 hours. I couldn't believe how packed it was. The doors were opening at 5 pm, but at about 4:40 one of the girls with us (Emily) had to go to the bathroom. Yeah, I know what you're thinking..why didn't she just hold it?

She'd been holding it for two hours already.

So she and Taylor and Haidyn left our wolfpack of 6 to go find a bathroom. They had 20 minutes to get through that big 'ol mob, and they just barely made it. Even at that they were still about 20 people behind us. Somehow on our way in, two girls had to go through another line, my dad's Sonic cup got crushed, Taylor found a new best friend, and FINALLY, after being shoulder to shoulder with all these random people, we were in.

We really enjoyed the concert. Our favorite definitely had to be Skillet. They ended the show with fireworks, smoke, fire..IT WAS SO COOL! Lana and woke up the next morning barely able to talk from all the screaming the night before. A few bands before Skillet, Lana and I went out so we could use the restroom and go buy a cd or t-shirt. Welllll that never wound up happening..one of the girls with us had what we think was a panic attack. We stayed in the restroom with her for a few minutes while she sat on the counter, waiting for it to pass. But it just got worse. Ten minutes passed, and she started crying and said she couldn't feel her hands. She was taken to Children's hospital, and thankfully she was okay and able to go home that night. Phew!

After the concert, we rushed out to the parking lot, trying to beat the crowds. We went by another entrance, and a big mob of people came piling out. Haidyn and I were walking behind Cynthia and my dad, and Lana was a little to the side. I started seeing more and more people I didn't know, and less of my dad. I got really nervous and said, "Haidyn..Haidyn, HAIDYN!" We grabbed each other and ran. By the time we got to the car, Lana said she almost got lost too.

At Taylor's house, we talked and laughed until 3 in the morning. Long story short, here are some new conclusions we came to that night: Taylor is a shrimp, I'm a pelican, Haidyn is a squirrel--or Mrs. Potato Head, whichever you prefer, Taylor Stamp is a syberian tiger (& acts like one too;), Lana is a seal, and Emily is a giraffe. Oh, and Cindy is a turtle.

Also, here's some insiders from the car ride home for Haidyn and Lana. Enjoy!

*"is that a shadow or does that truck have racing stripes?"
*"That chef is wearin' pampers."
*"Ya know what, Haidyn? You sound like you're from where you grew up!"

Love ya girls!

The Funeral

Grandma Nellie's funeral was today. It was a little tough, but not the saddest funeral I've ever been to. They did a really good job on celebrating her life (I saw a picture of her when she was young on a surfboard. I had no idea she'd ever even touched a surfboard!).
It was really nice being able to spend some time with some of my dad's family. I finally met my cousin Mike's significant other, Megan, and got some great pictures of everyone at the luncheon! Check 'em out.

My dad and his cousins, Mike and Matt (twins) standing around talkin' n' being manly;)
Matt(left), James-my dad (middle), Mike (right)

Mike..the studious one.

Mike and Megan:) Aren't they cute?

Aunt Gloria and Uncle Jim, bein' sweet.

I took this right after Mike said, "Am I holding her wrong??" He was hilarious!

Aw:)

Love ya, family!

I'm Not Going To Tell You Happy Valentine's Day

Today is a holiday celebrated by people all over America and other countries. It's typical to tell everyone 'Happy Valentine's Day', give your sweetie some Russell Stover chocolates, hand out Valentines and candy hearts..but does anybody know how this holiday really got started? I don't know about you, but I haven't heard much about how this holiday came into being (or maybe I'm just a dummy who hasn't payed attention for 15 February's--which is possible).
So, out of curiousity, I googled it, and instead of just telling everyone, "Happy Valentine's Day!" I'm going to share with you how Valentines Day got started. Here's what I found on the History Channel's website:

(no, I don't frequent the History Channel, either on TV or the internet; I'm not that nerdy. It was the first and most trustworthy thing I found on Google).


The Legend of St. Valentine
The history of Valentine's Day--and the story of its patron saint--is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. But who was Saint Valentine, and how did he become associated with this ancient rite?

The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first "valentine" greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl--possibly his jailor's daughter--who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed "From your Valentine," an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and--most importantly--romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France.

Did you catch all that? All because he wanted to get married to his sweetheart! :)

And that's where it all began. Enjoy your day, everyone!

Came Like A Winter Snow

Yesterday was what you would call a not-so-good day. Whitney Houston died yesterday, and my dad's grandmother stopped responding yesterday. She passed away around 2:30 am this morning. Also, one of my photography teachers' subjects, a newborn, died the other day.
There's a lot of upheaval going on right now. People are not at peace. There's hurt everywhere.
But last night, a winter snow came. As I looked out my window in the middle of the night, watching the snow fall down like glitter, my dad on the phone with his aunt talking of funeral arrangements, I got this picture in my mind of how God is like a winter snow in the dead of night. Quiet, soft, and slow.
Listen to this song by Chris Tomlin and Audrey Assad.

Could've come like a mighty storm
With all the strength of a hurricane
You could've come like a forest fire
With the power of heaven in Your flame

But You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below

Finally!

Okay, so I've promised to post pictures of Kimberly, but the internet has been down. So, here are the forever-waited-for photos of our new arrival!

Here's one of my dad right after the baby was born, putting on his jacket and walking out to the ambulance.

My mom now has her hands full:)

"IT'S SO FLUFFY, I'M GONNA DIE!" ~Quote from "Despicable Me"

Sweet dreams, crazy girl.

Good Burdens

So I've been reading this book called "Weird--because normal isn't working". You may have heard of it, it's by a man named Craig Groeschel, who lives in Edmond, Oklahoma. Woo-hoo! Oklahoma man!
When I was reading this morning, he was talking about "weird" blessings. A blessing that is unusual; one you wouldn't expect.
He talked of a time when he was a visiting pastor at a run-down church with only a few seniors attending. He remembers walking in, and a lady saying to him excitedly, "You better preach good today, because we're having a visitor!"

Obviously, they didn't get visitors very much.

The visitor had called beforehand, saying that she had hit hard times, and wanted to try church. The woman prayed with her, and said she'd be watching for her on Sunday.
While Craig (the visiting pastor) was talking to the real pastor of the church, Virgil, he saw the lady pull up. She was in a beat up, old and dusty car with a big dent on the drivers side. He watched her get out--she wore tight jeans, and even tighter top with no straps, and was smoking a cigarrete. He tried to geuss what she meant by "hard times"--abusive boyfriend, depression, drug addiction..? He prayed that God would help him say the right words to help her while he would be preaching that day.
The lady walked in, and passed by Craig and the pastor. I assume she was either walking into the sanctuary or about to introduce herself when the pastor said, "Uh, is that you best church outfit?"

Dead silence.

Yes, you read that right.

Then, without another word, the lady walked right back out the church doors, got into her car, and left. Virgil muttered under his breath, "Rebellious."

Craig couldn't find words to speak, and just walked away.
He says it broke his heart to see someone who was hurting turned away just because they didn't look "right".

Here's my question--what makes us "Christians" so much better than the rest of the world? We're still human; we are imperfect and always have room to improve. Why should God give us favor, and not them?

But this isn't the point of my post. Craig went on to say that seeing that made him aware how he, as a pastor and a follower of God, needed to watch himself and make sure he didn't begin to act like Virgil did, turning away sinful people who need the gospel. Just because they're a little "rough around the edges" doesn't mean that they don't have potential for greatness.
Even though it hurt him to see that, that was a blessing in disguise. God gave him that burden to prevent him from potentialy hurting other people.

When something bad happens to you, it's easy to look at it like nothing more than pain. But that's the kind of stuff God uses! Sometimes what feels like a burden is actually good for you, and necessary to mature. Ever heard the term "Growing pains"..?

Thats my two cents for today. Don't forget to check out that book if you haven't read it yet, you should. Like, now. It will totally change your thinking.

Todays Topic Is..crying?

Yesterday my mom and I were talking. I was about to leave for church because that night we were going to surprise Taylor and her mom would present her a scrapbook, and all the women and us teens were going to say something to her and/or give a note. My mom asked if I was going to read my letter out loud. Of course, I said no (but wound up doing it anyway. More on that in a later post). We both expected that everyone would probably cry at some point, and since she knows that I don't cry, she said with a teasing smile, "I bet you're gonna cry too!"
"No way!" I argued.
"I don't think any girl is fully a woman until they can easily be brought to tears. They don't see the need until they've had some life experience."
"Well, I wanna cry pretty often, I just choose not to. I don't like it."
"Well, the Bible says..."
Oh no, here we go.
"The Bible says in our weakness we are strong."
"That doesn't mean I have to cry!"
"Yes it does!"
"Whatever!" I said as we laughed at our fake argument.
But I want some opinions from my readers. How do you feel about crying? Do you agree with me or my mom? Is crying good or bad?
I encourage all my readers to leave a comment (if you aren't following my blog, you can post as Anonymous).
Get opinionated!

Big Fat LOL!

The day Kimberly was born, me and Kelsey and Olivia left the hospital at lunchtime and went home with my aunt. I got some hilarious pictures of the best subjects I've had so far..her kids!