Starting Over (I began with rappelling)

Hey guys, I meant to post this on Friday..sorry about that!

Thursday night, I went to bed around 2:00 am hoping that the coming day would bring a chance to start over. All the youth at my church, and a few of their parents, went on a rappelling trip Friday at Red Rock Canyon. When I woke up at 6:00 am Friday morning and remembered what I had ahead of me, I was excited and nervous at the same time. I think we all were..when we got there, it was FREEZING! I actually wore a scarf! lol
Everyone arrived, and our instructor (Mike) started talking to us about his experience, how many people he had rappelled with, when he started, etc. He gave some guidelines, like leaving your cell phone behind (so it doesn't ring while your rappelling..talk about distraction!) and putting our hair up so it doesn't get caught.
He had us do some crazy stuff! We all had to come up with our "rappelling name".
Let me list them:

Mike (the instructor)-Marvelous Mike
Joseph Miller-Jolly Jo;)
Josh Waitman-Jammin' Josh (or Taco, or Pepe, or Jammin-quack, or stupid-kid-who-throws-water-in-my-face)
Dave-Dynamic Dave
Gabriel-Generally Gabriel
Israel Waitman-Watchman Israel
JC Polliard-Epic JC!
Ron Wilson-Rockin' Ron (woot woot!)
Rylan Miller-Radical Rylan (he's rad, yo)
Isaac Waitman-Intelligent Isaac *taps finger on head*
Brendon Polliard-Bravo Brendon (he should've been BEDHEAD Brendon;) )
Elisha Miller-Excellent Elisha (but you'll always be Johnboy)
Payton Wilson-Positively Petie:)
Taylor Ball-Totally Taylor! (like, totally!)
Myrriah Miller-Musical Myrriah (laaaaaaa)
Hannah Waitman-Hopping Hannah (HOP!)
Me (Gabby McGee)-Great Gabby (great Gabby, its a spider!!)

My first time rappelling was scary, but by the time I was halfway down, I was having so much fun! I went back a second time, then had to leave for a photography lesson. Rappelling is now a new interest. :)
But I had to have a little bit of trust. Mike made it clear that the hardest part of rappelling is the emotional part. Boy, was he right..we were all scared, even the boys (though they didn't really show it).
Everyone gave their insight but, for me, rappelling was good for me because it got me out of my comfort zone, and I had to apply some trust-In my friends, my instructor, the rope, and God. Most of us found that the hardest thing was to relax, lean back, and stop gripping the rope so tight (if you grip it, you stop midair).
Hmm..doesn't that sound like most people when they first come to God?
That's what I got from it..I felt like it was a great visual of what its like to learn to trust God. It's hard, and scary (at least for me..if its easy for you to trust, tell me how you're doing it, I'd like to know!), but once you let go and relax, it feels so natural! Once I actually started rappelling, I thought, "Hey, this isn't so bad!"
So tonight, I'm thankful for:

*A chance to start over with God. Though there is pain in the night, joy comes in the morning.
*Jammiquacks!! don't ask..
*Great friends
*A new element of trust (very small, but it's a start).

Tonight

Why does it seem like problems in life are bigger at night?
That's a question that I've wondered about for years..but I think I'm finding the answer.
Before I go further, I'm going to update on Ben, Mary, & Lily--they are doing great. We finally got an answer to their issues, and apparently they got a viral infection; the doctor said it's pretty common. They got to go home & are feeling much better. Ben will continue to have trouble with kidney stones though, and has a lot of surgeries in his future.
Ok, back to what I was saying. The past few weeks have been purely insane. I'm talking never-sitting-down-until-midnight-or-later insane. I'm not really sure how I'm still alive, but here I am.
Last night I was babysitting my 5 cousins (which are hilarious, by the way), and around 10pm I was about to leave when I got a text message..when I saw the number, I felt a little mad, and confused at the same time..it was Mattie, my ex-best-friend. We have been fighting for a few months now off & on, & our last fight had pushed us both over the edge..we never wanted to hear from each other again after that.
But here she was texting me three days later..
why?
She was apologizing. I couldn't believe it when I read it..she said she was sorry for what she'd done, and was forgiving me for what I'd done. She said that if I wanted to talk that was fine, and she didn't want to fight anymore.
I texted her back, saying that I was sorry too, and she accepted my apology. I have read the messages over and over again today to make sure I didn't dream it.
Today we talked for a long time, and she really does want to be my friend again. I was blown away! It's hard to explain, but we've both been through a lot with each other the past few years, and for her to forgive me for everything was totally crazy.
But she did. And she meant it.
Forgiveness is really an amazing thing. You have to choose whether you want to forgive or not. God's forgiveness is even more amazing!
That brings me to the point of this post..I confess that this past month I've been all caught up in my problems..Ben nearly dying, Mattie being mad at me, helping Nanny with her garage sale for 4 days (all day), keeping up on guitar practice, Nana getting on disability (that was waaay more drama than it had to be), Mom's fender bender, parents fighting, not having enough school done, basically being a mom and a teenager at the same time..
I could go on and on all night, but the point is, I've had a lot on my plate. & when I have a bunch of problems going on like that, I freak out & try to make things easier & completely forget about everything but my problems--including God.
Well, I ran from Him. I knew I was on the brink of a meltdown, and so I ignored God to protect myself from that (tears are my enemy).
But things have changed this week..Mattie apologized, after screaming & fighting & strain my grandparents are peaceful about Nana getting on disability (she can barely walk anymore), Ben is doing fine even though he's still got some problems, my guitar teacher wasn't mad at me for having only one practice in last week, and I've had more time for school.
You might call it luck, but I call it grace. Even though I have ignored God this month just because of stress, He has still been keeping up with me (He must have some great running shoes), and working things out in my life..two weeks ago, I thought I wasn't going to make it. I honestly didn't believe that I would be here tonight, alive and well, typing away. I thought my whole family & life was about to go down the drain.
And guess what? God pulled all of us blockheads off the ground again! He gave us another chance.
I admit it, I figured He was giving up on me..I figured I had probably made Him mad, especially when I yelled at Mattie, but He's still here, cheering me on.
So tonight, I've got a song to sing about having no song to sing. I've been running on empty, and I'm tired of it. I'm completely worn out from fighting and fighting..

So here's my song:

I'm on the run
I'm on the ropes this time
Where is my song?
I've lost the song of my soul tonight

Sing it out, sing it out
Take what is left of me, make it a melody
Sing it out, sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
You be my remedy
My song, my song
I sing with words left of me

Where is the sun?
Feel like a ghost this time
Where have you gone?
I need your breath in my lungs tonight

Sing it out, sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody
Sing it out, sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
You be my remedy
My song, my song
I sing with words left of me

I'm holding on, I'm holding on to you
The world is wrong
The world is lies come true
And I fall in love with the ones that run me through
When all along all I need is You

Sing it out, sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody
Sing it out, sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
Come be my remedy
My song, my song
I sing with words left of me

I'm holding on, I'm holding on...

--Switchfoot, Sing It Out

New Blog!

Hey followers! Just thought I'd give you a heads up--I have a new blog, and it's all about bargains and good deals! Go check it out, it's gonna be awesome! Here's the link: teenbargainshopper.blogspot.com P.S. Don't forget to click the 'follow' button & leave comments;)

Day 23, and The Kids Are Still Sick.

Benjamin's younger siblings, Mary (4) and Lily (3), still have the virus. We thought Mary was over it, but two days later she started having the same problems, and Lily started throwing up last night.
All of this is totally beyond us, but this morning my mom mentioned that they may have eaten some of that cantelope that was recalled a while back...apparently it takes a long time after you eat it for your body to respond.
None of this is for sure, my mom is taking them to the doctor today and maybe they'll get some answers...other than that, I don't have any updates. They are still feeling as sick as they did more than 2 weeks ago, and that's totally not normal.
I'll update as soon as I hear from my mom. We really appreciate your prayers.

Yet Another Post Concerning Ben..

So Benjamin got to go home from the Children's Center a couple of days ago, only to start having the same problems he had before he went..I'm just going to remind you all that he, his mom, and four other siblings are staying at my grandparents.

It's a 2-bedroom house. And Benjamin is up all night throwing up from the pain. He was on his way to the bathroom two nights ago when he fell in the floor right in the middle of the hallway and said, "I died, mom. I died."

The pain is that bad.

Mary, his younger sister who is 4, is also throwing up again...we are really confused as to why she's still sick when we already thought she was over it, but Candace (their mom, who is my aunt) is going to take them both back to the hospital today. Benjamin did not have enough fluids going into his body over the weekend, so when Candace called the doctor and reported his and Mary's current condition, he said to bring them both in.
As if that weren't enough, her husband, Jeff, got diagnosed with diabetes a few weeks ago, and didn't respond in a healthy way, so they let him get on insulin...and he is still going up and down...and instead of gaining weight like a lot of diabetics do, he's actually losing weight. He has lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. He works for the railroad, so he could easily wind up in a dangerous situation.
Please keep praying for them...they really need it.
Thanks.

Gabby

Update On Ben!

Benjamin is at my Nana and Papa's right now, they ran some tests and it looks like he has a kidney stone forming. He has quite a few crystals, which explains why he was in so much pain. They are going to test his urine over the next few days, and hopefully a stone won't try to form.
Thanks for your prayers, I'll keep updating.

Benjamin

This is my little cousin, Ben (we call him Spike). He is 5. We all adore this little guy, he's just so irresistible! Looking at his face gives you a hint.
Anyway, he has been in the hospital for a week. He got that stomach virus that has been going around, and his immune system is not very strong, so it really took its toll on him...he'd had the virus for 6 days already, having high fevers during the day and at night staying up all night with terrible pains in his body, and he was throwing up. At one point he told his mom, "I'm gonna die."
His parents realized that he wasn't getting better (his older brothers only had it for one day), so they took him to the ER and he has been staying in the hospital for a week now.
He no longer has the virus, but he is still having pains, and won't eat. The doctors can't figure out what's wrong with him...he's lost almost ten pounds during all this. They checked to see if his appendix was threatening to rupture, but that's not it, and they've done other testing, but they can't find what's wrong. The only thing they can say is that it might be blockage.
Tonight he is at the Childrens Center. His mom has been alone all week, so we are going to go see her and Ben tomorrow.
Please pray that nothing worse happens to him. With things like this, it could get very bad, very fast. I'll be updating soon.
Thanks everybody!

A Cross Between Insanity and Frustration

I know I haven't posted in a while, but if i dont post something soon, i may lose my captive audience (which is, what, 6 people?) So here goes..

*five minutes of typing and backspacing pass*

*Gabby screams with frustranity and bangs head against the keyboard*

Wait, frustranity isn't a word.
Well, it is now. Let's just call it a cross between insanity and frustration.

*crickets chirp*

No, I am not insane. Only Insanely Frustrated.

"The cliffs of insanity!!"

If you don't recognize that quote, shame shame. It's from The Princess Bride. If you haven't heard of or seen the Princess Bride, triple shame!

I'm getting nowhere with this post.

*Gabby screams with frustranity and bangs head against the keyboard*